I ran across a rather disturbing article that details a rising trend called teen dating violence.
The article, delves into the shocking rise in unhealthy teen relationships and their causes.
One girl, whose name was withheld, spoke of verbal and mental abuse suffered at the hands of her boyfriend, who slowly chipped away at her self-esteem leaving her feeling worthless. Another young lady was physically threatened, after a boy she had broken up with threatened to send gunmen to her homecoming dance.
The boy was slapped don the wrist with a misdemeanor and a disorderly conduct charge.
There are indications that teens are more at risk for these types of relationships because of their ever evolving attempts to find themselves and mature. Teens also have a tendency to be very angst ridden, and self-esteem can be low, particularly if said teen is having a hard time fitting in. Riddled with insecurities, a teenager may either seek to dominate and manipulate their love interest, or become susceptible and even accepting of physical or mental abuse.
This can make for a volatile dating dynamic that can lead to unhealthy perceptions, like idea that overly aggressive and controlling behavior means your girl or boyfriend “really loves you.”
Fact of the matter is, nothing is further form the truth, and teens have to be made aware that behavior that is mentally or physically harmful is unacceptable; otherwise they could fall into a rut of similar relationships, which can follow them into adulthood.
What’s the answer?
Love yourself! As Carroll, the coordinator and counselor of a campaign called Choose Respect aptly noted, “”Somebody who is looking to abuse someone wants an easy mark. They don’t want someone who is going to stand up to them. If you do that, they’ll move on.”
It is the hopes of people like Carroll that teen daters develop the ability to grow past abusive relationships, before it becomes an unbreakable pattern.
Parents also play a pivotal role in helping teenagers understand their value and self worth. As soon as they recognize that their child is being abused, they need to step in to be a sounding board and to give advice that doesn’t come off at preachy, which can be hard to do.
Teenagers are going to one day become young adults, and they have to know that parents will help them, while also allowing them to make their own decisions. As a parent, your job is to facilitate communication, where you child knows you are an authority figure, but also realizes that their feelings and thoughts matter too. If they feel this way, they will be more open to talking-and listen.
What can we do about teen aging dating and violence? Talk to our kids, tell them to choose respect, and ultimately, trust that we have raised them well, and that they will inevitably make the right decisions.
