Q: Is it just me, or are all women just whacked in the head? It seems that everywhere I look, girls go after meatheads who treat them like dirt, while all the nice guys get kicked in the face. I used to be Mr Candy, flowers and poetry but after getting dumped more times than I can count, I have decided enough is enough! I am fed up! Just because I am a geek doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. Maybe I should turn into a jerk too?
A: Don’t hold back, tell us how your really feel.
Hun, I know that it may seem unfair that guys who don’t deserve it appear to get all the breaks, but when you venture into the adult world, you will see that dynamic change. All the popular kids end up with nothing to show for their high school hijinks, while industrious “nerdy ” types like yourself take over the world, and in turn, score all the babes.It isn’t entirely true that all girls want to date bad boys, it’s just that nice guys tend to look in the wrong places for love. Instead of chasing after that cheerleader, why not go for the quiet and lonely girl in the corner. She may not be Claudia Schiffer, but with the right person, she could blossom into the most thing girl on the planet.
Besides which, you, like so many others, are approaching dating the wrong way. Far too often, people expect things to turn out a certain way, then grow angry when it doesn’t occur. If you are buying flowers and candy in an effort to buy affections, then whose fault is that? People aren’t obligated to like you just because you by them things. Either the chemistry is there or it isn’t, besides, there’ s no law that says every woman has to find you irresistible. They, like you, are looking for a particular type of person. That is your right, as well as theirs.
Try to cultivate a more healthy and open-minded response to dating and rejection and you may find something surprising happens. You become more relaxed and confident, which will, in turn, draw mature girls who appreciate a good guy.
Keep in mind, that dating is not marriage, nor is it a way to try to get sex or rack up on hotties. It is a getting to know one another process. If you look at it in this way, it won’t seem so do or die and you can actually enjoy yourself as opposed to putting pressure on both you and your date.
So, chin up-don’t change who you are! Anything worth having is challenging to obtain, and if you want something of depth, it may be harder to find. Sooner or later, the one who appreciates you for you will come along! Until then, let go of expectations, just date and have fun.
